Another Reason to Dislike Religion

With all the coverage in the news lately, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to find out what exactly the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) is all about.

First, some history. The church split from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) in the 1930's after the LDS church renounced polygamy. They consider themselves Mormon, but have no official ties to the LDS church. In 1953, Arizona police and the US National Guard raided a FLDS community in Short Creek, Arizona, and took every member of the community into custody, including children. Some parents never regained custody of their children after the raid. The FLDS church managed to avoid any more major legal troubles up until 1993, when a member was convicted of bigamy and unlawful sexual conduct with a 16- or 17-year old. In 2006, Warren Jeffs, the prophet (leader) at the time was charged with numerous crimes (including sex with a minor) and was placed on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted List after he fled to avoid prosecution. He is currently serving a 10 years to life sentence.

Earlier this month, Texas authorities took over 400 children into custody after receiving reports of abuse at the YFZ Ranch, which is a FLDS compound outside Eldorado, Texas. A custody battle is currently underway.

Now onto some of what these people believe and practice.

1. Their most prominent practice is "plural marriage." The marriages usually aren't legal, only spiritual, to avoid charges of bigamy. They practice the Law of Placing, which means that the prophet assigns a woman to a man based on a revelation from God. Wives can be reassigned if the prophet deems the man has sinned.

2. Members of the church adhere to a strict dress code. Women are not allowed to cut their hair, wear makeup, or wear shorts or pants. They usually wear prairie-style dresses with long sleeves that fall down almost to the ankle. They can't wear the color red. Men wear collared shirts and pants. Both men and women are forbidden from having piercings and tattoos.

3. FLDS members are forbidden from owning property. They live in church-owned housing. The church also owns most of the businesses owned by FLDS members.

4. The FLDS is a highly racist organization. According to Warren Jeffs, "The black race is the people through which the devil has always been able to bring evil unto the earth." Many members also see no problem with the events of 9/11.

5. Unlike the LDS church, members of the FLDS church are allowed to drink coffee, tea, beer, and wine.

6. The FLDS organization is skeptical of modern medical practices. Like Scientologists, they practice silent birthing. Doctors are rarely present for childbirth, and pain medication is avoided. They tend to believe that they can be healed through fasting and prayer.

I could write pages about the screwed up ways of the FLDS church, but it makes me a little sick to my stomach. My only hope is that the children removed from the YFZ compound are able to get the help they need to escape what is essentially a dangerous cult.


Source: Escape, by Carolyn Jessop, a former FLDS member.

I'm Back!

I'm back from Europe, and don't really feel like doing any heavy posting, so I figured I'd share some pictures of the numerous churches and cathedrals I visited on my trip. That's right, I actually went into them (willingly) and didn't burst into flames!

Palma de Mallorca, Spain



Cassis, France



Gassin, France



Grimaud, France



Monaco



Florence, Italy



Amalfi, Italy

Random Musings

The Bible is making me grumpy. I'm halfway through Genesis and can't bear the thought of reading another chapter. It's a good story, but when I remember that people actually take it literally, I get upset. I thought this would be easy; I thought I could read a few books, talk to a few people, and then I'd be enlightened. It's much harder than that.

A Jehovah's Witness came to the door today. It should have been a great opportunity to talk to someone and learn more about their faith, but I couldn't even bring myself to invite the guy in. Granted, I was smelly from not showering and had stuff I needed to accomplish, but still. I should have showed some patience and listened to what he had to say.

While I may be failing miserably with my attempts to understand Christianity, I'm doing quite well with my foray into Buddhism. It's only been a few weeks, but I feel like I'm a better person. I've been trying to be nicer to people and to not judge. It's a small step, but it's a start in the right direction.

Pregame Warmup

I've been trying to avoid it, but it's time for me to tackle Christianity. I've been employing the same technique for all my big fears (snakes, elevators, the church, etc)... avoidance. I don't go walking where the snakes are, I take the stairs, and I avoid any mention of anything Christian. I'm one of those people that says "oh my goodness" instead of "oh my God," just so I don't have to say the word "God." But things are about to change.

I'm still too scared to make an appointment to meet with a priest, so I'm going to start off by reading the Bible. It took me a bit, but I finally found my copy of it. It's pink, was given to me by an aunt, and has never been opened. My palms get a little sweaty just looking at it. I'm not sure why it makes me nervous; it's just a book for crying out loud!

The Bible starts off with the Book of Genesis and the story of creation. Me and the good book are already off to a rough start. I'll believe in creationism right about the same time I start believing in goblins and magical fairies. It amazes me that people actually believe in this version of events instead of evolution. Actually, it kind of upsets me. I've known otherwise-intelligent people that actually believe God waved His hand and *BOOM!* Mankind was created! Needless to say, I had trouble respecting them once they revealed this to me. Nevertheless, I need to continue reading (hopefully without getting upset and yelling at the Bible... I wouldn't put it past me though) so I can understand what Christianity is all about.

Neat Little Quiz

I came across a neat little quiz while randomly checking out religious websites. This quiz claims to match you with the religion that is most similar to your beliefs. It also shows how closely 26 other faiths match up with your beliefs.

To take the quiz for yourself, click here.

My results:

1. Theravada Buddhism (100%)
2. Mahayana Buddhism (90%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (80%)
4. Neo-Pagan (75%)
5. Secular Humanism (70%)
6. Liberal Quakers (69%)
7. New Age (69%)
8. Nontheist (62%)
9. Taoism (61%)
10. Jainism (61%)
11. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (57%)
12. Orthodox Quaker (55%)
13. Hinduism (54%)
14. Christian Science (50%)
15. New Thought (50%)
16. Scientology (50%)
17. Reform Judaism (49%)
18. Sikhism (48%)
19. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestants (46%)
20. Orthodox Judaism (44%)
21. Baha'i Faith (40%)
22. Islam (40%)
23. Mormon (29%)
24. Eastern Orthodox (24%)
25. Roman Catholic (24%)
26. Seventh Day Adventist (22%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (14%)

I'm slightly shocked that nontheism (basically atheism) comes in at number 8 on my list. Scratch that, I'm hugely shocked. Especially when you consider that New Age, Liberal Quakers, and neo-pagans are all above it.

Mixing With Mormons

I had a visit today from some friendly Mormon missionaries. One of them was surprisingly cute! But I digress. I had requested a visit on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (whew, what a mouthful) website, and a missionary contacted me to set up an appointment.

I made it very clear to the boys that I was not interested in converting to Mormonism, and I gave them the background story on my mission. I told them that I was interested in knowing what their religion was truly about, because all I had heard was negative stuff in the media (polygamy, cult-like sects, etc). I think they took that as a challenge.

They started off by explaining what exactly prophets are, and the cyclical nature involved. God chooses a prophet and shares His word with him (all the prophets seem to be male), the prophet shares God's words with the people, and once the people accept the prophet's teachings, God blesses the people. People eventually start ignoring the teachings, and then reject the prophet, creating a state of apostasy, and people lose knowledge of the gospel. When the time is right, God chooses another prophet and the cycle continues.

They then told me the Mormon view of Jesus Christ. He lived a sinless life, performed miracles, and established a church. He appointed twelve apostles to spread his teachings. When he died, this kicked off the Great Apostasy (partially coinciding with the Dark Ages). People such as Martin Luther and John Calvin attempted to reform the church, however, they were not chosen by God, and therefore failed. It wasn't until 1820 when another prophet was chosen.

This prophet was Joseph Smith. He translated the Book of Mormon from an ancient record written on golden plates. The Book of Mormon is a record of God's dealings with the early inhabitants of the Americas. As the missionaries pointed out, it seems unlikely that God would only talk to people in and around Jerusalem. They gave me my very own copy of the Book of Mormon, which now sits in a pile of religious literature that I will eventually read, and told me to pray on it (and taught me how to properly pray).

Even though I insisted that I had no interest in becoming a Mormon, they told me repeatedly that if I read the Book of Mormon and prayed on it, I would see that it was right, just as they did. They said a prayer asking God to show me the way, to show me that Mormonism is the right religion. I was then invited to join them at their church whenever I have a spare Sunday.

I was surprised that the missionaries appeared to recite a script... I understand that they want to convey a unified message, however, it's hard to believe what someone is saying when they come across as bad actors with monotone voices. I was much more receptive to what they told me when we were just chatting. I'm more interested in knowing how they live their lives and how their religion affects their day to day life; the scripture stuff bores me. Hopefully they'll get more into that in their follow-up visit next month.



Click here to watch the South Park episode on Mormons... even the missionaries agreed that it was a funny episode!

Just Call Me Reverend...

My body wasn't pleased with my attempts at prayer, and decided to punish me with a nasty cold that kept me in bed (and away from my experiment) for the past few days. I did, however, manage to accomplish something. I am now a legally (in some parts of the world) ordained minister thanks to the internet and the Universal Life Church in Modesto, California. I am now authorized by the church (but not necessarily the government) to perform weddings, funerals, baptisms, blessings, and to preach, teach, and hold meetings. Awesome!

My first act as a minister was to bless the cat. What can I say, he was close by and I was bored. I now have a holy cat, although he doesn't seem to appreciate what I did for him. Ungrateful, that's what he is.

Day Five: Good Friday

In Western Christianity, today is Good Friday. It commemorates the crucifixion and death of Christ. I decided to try out some Catholic observances.

Roman Catholics are supposed to fast on this day, however I can't imagine a day without food, so I went with the Latin Rite version of fasting, which involves one large meal and two small ones. I spent the majority of my morning and afternoon baking babka, a Ukrainian Easter bread, with one of my aunts, so that was the first of my small meals. Although I'm not sure if half a loaf of bread is considered a "small" meal. My large meal consisted of spinach dip, baby potatoes, and ham. Catholics are supposed to avoid meat on Fridays, but I couldn't turn down ham, since I only get it a few times a year. My second small meal was Jello and Cadbury Creme eggs. The definition of health food, I know.

Catholics also say prayers as acts of reparation to Jesus Christ (to repair the sins of others), so I tried one out.

"O Jesus, my Savior and Redeemer, Son of the living God, behold, we kneel before Thee and offer Thee our reparation; we would make amends for all the blasphemies uttered against Thy holy name, for all the injuries done to Thee in the Blessed Sacrament, for all the irreverence shown toward Thine immaculate Virgin Mother, for all the calumnies and slanders spoken against Thine spouse, the holy Catholic and Roman church. O Jesus, who hast said: 'If you ask the Father anything in My name, He will give it to you,' we pray and beseech Thee for all our brethren who are in danger of sin; shield them from every temptation to fall away from the true faith; save those who are even now standing on the brink of the abyss; to all of them give light and knowledge of the truth, courage and strength for the conflict with evil, perseverance in faith and active charity! For this we do pray, most merciful Jesus, in Thy name, unto God the Father, with whom Thou livest and reignest in the unity of the Holy Spirit world without end.
Amen."

That's the first prayer I've ever said, and let me tell you, it felt so wrong. First of all, it goes against every fiber of my atheist being to pray to someone I don't believe in. Correction: it goes against everything I believe in to pray in the first place. Secondly, I have trouble saying a prayer that mentions the Virgin Mary... can someone please explain to me how millions and millions of people actually believe in the concept of immaculate conception when it concerns Jesus? That's right up there with aliens and thetans and any other ridiculous idea (at least for me it is).

I can see that the Catholic faith is going to be one of my biggest obstacles in this experiment. I can't even say a simple prayer without getting a little angry inside. It just seems like such a crock of shit to me, and it frustrates me that people actually believe in it. But that's the purpose of this experiment... to learn about all faiths and become more tolerant. I clearly failed with that goal today.

Day Four: "New Age" Spirituality

I decided to tackle new age spirituality today to continue the weirdness that started yesterday at the Church of Scientology. While technically not a religion, I still felt that it was worth investigating, mainly because it's a good source of entertainment.

Step one was checking my horoscope.

"You greet the world energized, and you are ready to take on the world!"

So far so good... I woke up half hour before my alarm went off, and was wide awake and ready to go.

"Your confidence is likely at an all-time high because of the events of the last few days."

Lucky guess... my confidence is rarely lacking.

"You have every reason to be proud of all that you have accomplished, especially at work."

Damn straight! I finally heard back from the company that I'm dying to work for, and after months of hard work, I've been accepted into training for the job of my dreams!

"But your love life could benefit from the same level of commitment. Why not be proactive about the situation?"

Well, it has been months since my last date, so I did bump the flirting up a few notches as I went about my day. That's about as proactive as I could get.

Checking my horoscope is fine and dandy, but it wasn't enough for me. Step two was visiting a psychic. I went to see a woman that came highly recommended by members of my family. I opted for a crystal ball reading, a palm reading, and an extended tarot card reading.

As soon as I sat down, she noted that I was a very guarded person that found it hard to express emotions. Lucky guess. She brought out the crystal ball (I honestly thought that was just something from cartoons!) and went about her business. She told me that she saw that I am a very logical person, smart, and a thinker, but with a creative side. My career would be in a technical field (which it is), but it wouldn't be my only career. I will also be a pilot in the future. (I have thought about being a pilot). She told me that I'm an old soul, and in previous incarnations I was somehow connected to Germany, and also England and Ireland. I will be wealthy in the future, and will have enough money to retire in my 40's (which is a personal goal of mine).

She then moved to a combination of the crystal ball and palm readings. She said that I will have 4 kids, twin boys and two girls, and I will have the twins first, at age 33. She told me the exact same thing when I saw her six months ago. She said that the crystal ball showed that the next serious relationship that I get into will be with the man I marry. My palm showed that my third serious relationship will be with my husband... I've been in two already, a fact I did not share with her. I'm also going to meet him in the near future. She said that he's going to be tall (naturally, since I'm not a fan of short men), similar in personality to me, and a man in uniform (does a hockey uniform count? Please let it count!)... he's also going to have dark hair. I like this future husband of mine already!

It was then time for the tarot cards. They conveniently backed up everything she had already said, but she expanded on things. She told me that I would be moving to Toronto or Montreal in the future because of my husband. She mentioned that I have a strong connection to Europe, and she sensed a vacation in my immediate future, one around water. Which is either really freaky or an insanely lucky guess, because I leave for a European cruise in two weeks. She wrapped the session up by telling me to listen to my intuition, and to pay attention to my dreams, because I have two angels (one that's a funny person, one that was a fantastic cook that loved cooking for large groups) that are trying to tell me something. She also said that I should try and get out more and meet new people. Good advice regardless of whether or not she's psychic.

Of course she didn't get everything right. She saw knee surgery for my father in the next year... he's having surgery, but on his shoulder... I'm the one with the knee problems. She said that I worried too much, which I don't think is accurate, especially when I compare myself to other people I know.

I still don't believe in psychics and horoscopes after today; I doubt I ever will, but I do see the value in them. Trusting a psychic to help you with a major life decision probably isn't the smartest idea, but what's so wrong with walking around believing that I'm going to live to be 90, have a happy marriage with a tall man, and generally be successful in everything I do? It's better than walking around being miserable. I firmly believe that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. And although I don't believe in guardian angels, the description she gave sounds suspiciously like my deceased grandparents, and I like the idea that they're watching over me and guiding me, even if deep down I don't really believe it. Overall, I think today was a big success for me!

Day Three: Scientology

I'm slightly ashamed to admit that prior to today, my knowledge of Scientology came solely from Tom Cruise and South Park. So I made the trip to the local Church of Scientology today to see what all the buzz is about. I wasn't sure what to expect; the media portrays Scientologists as whacked out nutjobs. To be quite honest, after today, I'm not sure that I totally disagree with that assessment.

I watched part of a DVD entitled "Scientology: An Overview" with several members of the church. The entire DVD is about 3 hours long, so they gave me a copy of it to watch at home. One of these weekends I'll pop some popcorn and watch it all. The section that I watched was about human rights; apparently Scientologists have updated the basic human rights to make them more understandable. (As a side note, who knew that the right to play was a basic human right?) Although the DVD was somewhat entertaining, the part I saw did not tell me anything about Scientology. I needed more.

I was then given a brief tour of the church. It pretty much consisted of showing me all the various books, CDs, DVDs, etc, that they offer for sale. This is the number one reason why I'm skeptical of Scientology as a religion. Why should a person have to continually spend money to progress in their religious studies? And for that matter, why does the church insist on keeping their beliefs secret from the public?

After the tour, they hooked me up to an e-meter for a free stress test. An e-meter measures changes in the electrical resistance in the body, which Scientologists believe corresponds to changes in the reactive mind. I was told to think of a friend or family member. My mind wandered to the ex-boyfriend mentioned in my very first post, and the needle on the machine went nuts! I'm not sure if this was a legitimate reading, or if it had something to do with the auditor constantly fiddling with the knobs. The auditor then asked me what my biggest regret in my past was, and then proceeded to tell me how the solution to all my problems could be found in L. Ron Hubbard's book Dianetics (which I could buy for the low price of $24.00!)

I was approaching the 90 minute mark by this point, so I politely excused myself. I left my email address, so they're going to follow up with me in a week or two.


Oh, and my journey as a Buddhist started out rough today. A homeless woman asked me for some change and I lied and said I didn't have any. I immediately felt bad, but was too ashamed to turn around and give her some. Hopefully I can make up for it in the next few days by doing some random act of kindness.